Silent Pain and Revenge: Absalom’s Response to Injustice (2 Samuel 13:20–39)
Sometimes in life, silence can hurt as much as the wrong that was done. After Tamar was harmed by her half-brother Amnon, her pain didn’t just disappear. Sadly, instead of justice and healing, the story took a darker turn. This part of the Bible shows us how brokenness in a family can grow when things are left unresolved.
Tamar Finds Shelter but Remains in Pain
After the terrible act against her, Tamar went to live with her brother Absalom. He cared about her deeply and told her to stay quiet for now. Tamar stayed in his home, but her life was never the same. The Bible says she lived “desolate”—alone, grieving, and brokenhearted.
Absalom didn’t forget what happened. He was angry inside, but he didn’t act on it right away.
David’s Silence
King David, their father, heard what happened and was very angry. But he didn’t punish Amnon. We’re not told exactly why, but perhaps it was because Amnon was his oldest son—or maybe David felt guilty because of his own past sins.
Whatever the reason, David did nothing. This silence added to the pain. Tamar didn’t get justice. Absalom saw the injustice and quietly carried it in his heart.
Absalom’s Hidden Anger
For two years, Absalom said nothing to Amnon—good or bad. On the outside, he acted calm. But inside, he was waiting. Planning.
Eventually, he invited all the king’s sons to a feast during the time of sheep shearing—a time that was usually joyful and festive. He even asked David to come, but when David declined, Absalom insisted Amnon attend.
Amnon Is Killed
At the feast, when Amnon was relaxed and had eaten, Absalom gave the signal. His servants rose up and killed Amnon, just as he had planned. The rest of the king’s sons panicked and ran away.
News reached David that all his sons were dead. He was devastated. But then Jonadab, the same cousin who once helped Amnon, stepped in and explained the truth: only Amnon was dead. Absalom had planned this since the day Amnon hurt Tamar.
Absalom Runs Away
After the killing, Absalom fled to Geshur, where his grandfather was king. He stayed there for three years. During that time, David mourned the loss of Amnon. But eventually, his heart softened. He missed Absalom and longed to see him again.
What Can We Learn from This Painful Story?
This part of David’s family story is full of sadness and broken relationships. It teaches us some hard but important lessons:
- Silence can make things worse. When we ignore wrong, the hurt doesn’t go away—it often grows.
- Injustice needs to be addressed. Tamar was wronged, but no one truly defended her. Justice matters to God.
- Revenge doesn’t heal. Absalom thought killing Amnon would make things right, but it only led to more grief and division.
- Family wounds run deep. When people don’t talk, forgive, or seek help, pain can last for years.
Final Thoughts
This chapter is difficult, but it reminds us that even in the darkest family struggles, God sees and cares. Tamar’s voice mattered, even if others ignored it. Absalom’s anger showed the deep need for justice, even though he chose a harmful path.
If you’ve ever been hurt, ignored, or felt abandoned like Tamar—or if you’ve held onto anger like Absalom—know this: God cares. He is near to the brokenhearted, and He offers healing, truth, and a better way forward.
2 Samuel 13:20-39 (WEB)
13:20 Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.”So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.23 After two full years, Absalom had sheep shearers in Baal Hazor, which is beside Ephraim; and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 Absalom came to the king and said, “See now, your servant has sheep shearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.”25 The king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let’s not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him; however he would not go, but blessed him.26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.”The king said to him, “Why should he go with you?”27 But Absalom pressed him, and he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. 28 Absalom commanded his servants, saying, “Mark now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine; and when I tell you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I commanded you? Be courageous, and be valiant!”29 The servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and every man got up on his mule and fled.30 While they were on the way, the news came to David, saying, “Absalom has slain all the king’s sons, and there is not one of them left!”31 Then the king arose, and tore his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. 32 Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered, “Don’t let my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon only is dead; for by the appointment of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore don’t let my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead; for only Amnon is dead.” 34 But Absalom fled. The young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming by way of the hillside behind him. 35 Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons are coming! It is as your servant said.” 36 As soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came, and lifted up their voices and wept. The king also and all his servants wept bitterly.37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihur, king of Geshur. David mourned for his son every day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 King David longed to go out to Absalom, for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he was dead.