A Story of Betrayal and Pain: The Tragedy of Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1–19)
Some stories in the Bible are difficult to read. They don’t always have happy endings, and they show us the deep brokenness of people—even those who are part of God’s chosen family. One such story is found in 2 Samuel 13, where we meet Tamar, a young woman who experiences betrayal and great sorrow.
A Brother’s Obsession
Amnon was one of King David’s sons. He became obsessed with his half-sister Tamar. She was beautiful, kind, and innocent. Amnon wanted her so badly that it made him feel sick. But this wasn’t love—it was selfish and dangerous desire.
A Sinful Plan
Instead of dealing with his feelings in a healthy or respectful way, Amnon shared them with his cousin Jonadab. Jonadab was clever, but not wise. He gave Amnon a terrible idea: pretend to be sick and ask for Tamar to come and cook for him.
Amnon followed this plan, and when King David heard he was unwell, he sent Tamar to help.
Tamar Tricked Into Serving
Tamar went to Amnon’s house to care for him. She brought food and kindness, not knowing what he was really planning. She likely trusted him as a brother and had no reason to fear.
But once they were alone, Amnon showed his true intentions.
A Heartbreaking Attack
Amnon grabbed Tamar and demanded that she sleep with him. Shocked and afraid, Tamar begged him to stop. She pleaded with him not to do such a terrible thing. She reminded him it was wrong and would bring shame to both of them.
But Amnon refused to listen. He forced her, hurting her deeply—both physically and emotionally.
From Desire to Hatred
After the attack, Amnon’s feelings changed suddenly. The desire he once felt turned into hatred. He ordered Tamar to leave, as if she meant nothing to him.
Tamar begged him not to throw her out. She said this rejection would be even worse. But he refused. He had taken what he wanted, and now he wanted nothing to do with her.
Tamar’s Deep Grief
Tamar was left devastated. She tore her special robe—a symbol of her purity—and put ashes on her head, a sign of deep sorrow. She cried out loud and went away in mourning.
Her pain was not just physical. She had been betrayed by someone she trusted. She had been treated unfairly and cruelly. Her dignity had been taken, and she was left alone in her grief.
Why This Story Matters
This is not an easy story to read. It’s uncomfortable and painful. But it’s in the Bible for a reason. It shows us that sin can cause real harm. When people ignore what’s right and follow selfish desires, others get hurt.
This story also shows us the voice of a woman who tried to speak up—but was not heard. Tamar’s pain is real, and it matters.
What We Can Learn
- Real love never harms. Amnon’s actions were not love—they were selfish and abusive.
- Listen to those who are hurting. Tamar’s voice should have mattered. Today, we must listen to and stand with people who suffer injustice.
- God sees the brokenhearted. Even when others ignore pain, God never does. He cares deeply about those who are hurting.
- We must be careful who we listen to. Jonadab’s advice led to disaster. Good friends should guide us toward what is right—not what is wrong.
Final Thoughts
Tamar’s story ends in silence, but her pain echoes through the pages of Scripture. It reminds us that even in the darkest moments, God is still just, and He still cares.
If you or someone you know has been hurt, know this: your pain matters. God sees you. You are not forgotten.
2 Samuel 13:1-19 (WEB)
13:1 After this, Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so troubled that he became sick because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very subtle man. 4 He said to him, “Why, son of the king, are you so sad from day to day? Won’t you tell me?”Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”5 Jonadab said to him, “Lay down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes to see you, tell him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ”6 So Amnon lay down and faked being sick. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. She took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 She took the pan and poured them out before him, but he refused to eat. Amnon said, “Have all men leave me.” Then every man went out from him. 10 Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the room, that I may eat from your hand.” Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the room to Amnon her brother. 11 When she had brought them near to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister!”12 She answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me! For no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Don’t you do this folly! 13 As for me, where would I carry my shame? And as for you, you will be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.”14 However, he would not listen to her voice; but being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. 15 Then Amnon hated her with exceedingly great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”16 She said to him, “Not so, because this great wrong in sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me!”But he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his servant who ministered to him, and said, “Now put this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.”18 She had a garment of various colors on her, for the king’s daughters who were virgins dressed in such robes. Then his servant brought her out and bolted the door after her. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her garment of various colors that was on her; and she laid her hand on her head and went her way, crying aloud as she went.